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Confessing at the Church of the Mainframe

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The Time of the Doctor raised a very interesting legal and religious issue: The Silence hear confessions at Mother Superious Tasha Lem’s Church of the Mainframe.

The legal issue: Can the clergy privilege work with a confessor who causes you to forget what you confessed?

Silence_Church_7834Silent Confession 

Clara was told by a Silence to “confess” onboard the Church of the Mainframe.  A confession in the religious sense is acknowledging past wrongs.  It often requires seeking forgiveness. Conversely, a confession in the legal sense is “…an acknowledgment in express words, by the accused in a criminal case, of the truth of the main fact charged or of some essential part of it.” Black’s Law Dictionary, 9th Edition, citing 3 John H. Wigmore,Evidence in Trials at Common Law § 821, at 308 (James H. Chadbourn ed., 4th rev. ed. 1970).

Confessing sins to a minister is protected under the law. For example, under California Evidence Code § 917, such clergy-penitent communications are “presumed to have been made in confidence and the opponent of the claim of privilege has the burden of proof to establish that the communication was not confidential.”

Silence_MemberofClergy_7841The Doctor referred to The Silence on the Church of the Mainframe as Confessional Priests. Despite being the most disturbing looking priests ever, the Silence would qualify as a “member of the clergy” under California Evidence code § 1030. Granted, the faith of the Church of the Mainframe was dedicated to the Doctor’s silence from speaking his name to answer the first question, the one hiding in plain sight.

A “Penitent” is a person who made penitential communication to a member of the clergy. Cal Evid Code § 1031. A “penitential communication” is a communication made in confidence, in the presence of no third person so far as the penitent is aware, to a member of the clergy who, in the course of the discipline or practice of the clergy member’s church, denomination, or organization, is authorized or accustomed to hear those communications and, under the discipline or tenets of his or her church, denomination, or organization, has a duty to keep those communications secret. Cal Evid Code § 1032.

Both the Penitent and the Member of the Clergy have a privilege to refuse to disclose penitential communications. Cal Evid Code §§ 1033 and 1034. A Penitent has the additional right to prevent another from disclosing a penitential communication. Cal Evid Code § 1033.

What Do You Have to Confess?

The Silence had only one thing to say to Clara: Confess. Human ministers generally have a less threatening confession-side manner.

Sontarian_Rutan_Silence_7465A confession to the Silence likely would be protected, if the following conditions are met: 1) The Silence are legally viewed as members of the clergy; 2) the statement is made in confidence without any third parties; 3) the statement is intended to be in confidence; 4) the Church of the Mainframe has authorized the Silence to hear communications and has imposed a duty of secrecy for such communications. Doe 2 v. Superior Court, 132 Cal. App. 4th 1504, 1518 (Cal. App. 2d Dist. 2005).

Provided all of the conditions are met, communications made to the Silence would be protected by a court. The last element of imposing a duty of secrecy is self-evidence, because the very nature of the Silence is to hide their existence from humans. If you can only remember someone while looking at them, that is the most extreme way to maintain confidential communications.

Silence Will Fall

The Silence who are Confessional Priests would be bound by law not to discuss confessions made to them. However, they have a powerful tool, because if they did disclose a penitential communication, the third party would have no memory of it. The only exception to the memory loss would be other members of The Silence.

Silence_WeepingA Penitent in the Church of the Mainframe would have no memory of their confession. This would be problematic from a religious and legal point of view. Generally speaking, asking for forgiveness requires accepting responsibility for one’s sins. If you have no memory of doing so, it is difficult to seek absolution. The only way around this would be the Silence giving a hypnotic suggestion like, “You should kill all of us on sight,” that embeds absolution within the Penitent’s subconscious (Note, the hypnotic suggestion should not be from Day of the Moon).

Religious scholars can offer greater analysis on the subject, which could be very interesting discussion in a Confirmation class.

I Will Remember Every Line

A Penitent would have a difficult time exercising their right to protect any penitential communication if they cannot even remember the communications. Worse yet, they might disclose their own communication to a third party, not knowing they even made the communication to a Confessional Priest, thus waiving their own privilege. As such, the Church of the Mainframe should reconsider the practice of the Silence hearing confessions.

Working at Lambeau Field: Is It Just Too Cold?

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KidsAndMeLambeauFieldWisconsin is a wintery wonderland.  I love that about Wisconsin.  But as much as I love winter, it can still get too cold for me sometimes.  A month ago I took my kids to the Packers-Vikings Game at Lambeau Field (fulfilling my obligations as a Wisconsin parent).  That game turned out to be the coldest November game there in over thirty years.  My kids and I were bundled up with multiple layers, heater packs, and blankets, and we still only made it through three quarters (yes, we left right before the Packers made a big comeback and fought the Vikings to a tie in overtime).

So how to the guys on the field stand it?  Some of them play in short sleeves, although many Packers will admit that they don’t like playing in the cold and they have lots of tricks to deal with Green Bay’s frigid weather.  But at least the football players get time on the sidelines, with bench and foot warmers and those huge overcoats.  What about the other guys on the field – the refs?  Just last weekend, during a snowstorm, one of the refs for the Packers game was only wearing a baseball cap and no gloves.  And the refs are out on the field for the entire playing time!

SnowyStadiumThat’s a pretty tough job in the cold, which led me to wonder…can the refs claim that working games at Lambeau Field or some of the other cold climate stadiums constitutes working under hazardous conditions?  [This same rationale applies to the players as well, of course.  But NFL football players already have other hazardous conditions that are more serious.  So dealing with the cold is probably less pressing for them.]

Under Wisconsin law, employers owe a duty to their employees to furnish and maintain a place of employment as safe as the nature of its business would reasonably permit.  See Wis. Stat. § 101.11.  OSHA states that working in extremely cold conditions can be dangerous.  The CDC lists extreme cold as a physical hazard.  And workers’ compensation insurance funds recognize that working in extremely cold conditions can be dangerous.

The issue then is whether working in the cold at Lambeau Field (or Soldier Field –  but you don’t need to be as tough there!) is reasonably safe, given the nature of the business.  Presumably (given my inability to find any cases addressing this issue), so long as the NFL and the team owners provide enough warm gear and heating equipment, it is safe enough.  Unless or until there’s a requirement that all cold weather teams play in domes (which doesn’t seem likely – and the Vikings are playing their last game at the Metrodome right now), football employees will just need to dress warmly (ref, please put on a winter hat!), stay hydrated, and brace themselves for the cold.

So, as the Packers prepare to take on the Bears for the title of the NFC North Division Champion this afternoon, I have just four words to say.  STAY WARM.  And…GO PACKERS!

A Bow Tie Requiem for the 11th Doctor

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Matt Smith was the first Doctor since Jon Pertwee in 1974 to wear a bow tie on Doctor Who. One only needs to look on social media to see the number of people wearing bow ties in the last three years. Matt Smith’s popularity as the 11th Doctor was undoubtedly part of this bow tie Renaissance.

Judge Matthew Sciarrino and I sat down to review The Time of the Doctor. We discussed Matt Smith’s tenure as the 11th Doctor, hopes for Peter Capaldi and the future of bow ties.

I am confident Mother Superious Tasha Lem is River Song. Lem screamed River from the following facts:

11thDoctor_7447The [well armed] Church of the Mainframe was probably the Library of River’s future;

Lem’s constant sexual innuendos with the Doctor;

The fact the Doctor kissed Lem;

Lem  was determined to protect the Doctor from being attacked by every enemy he ever had;

Lem knew how to fly the TARDIS;

“LEM” was the name of the Lunar Lander in the Apollo program, which was heavily tied to the plots of The Impossible Astronaut, The Day of the Moon and The Wedding of Rivier Song;

Lem narrated the story; and

The big giveaway: the Doctor told Lem she had been fighting the psychopath within herself her entire life.

All of these facts point to Tasha Lem being River Song.

Regardless, Matt Smith, thank you for your time on Doctor Who. Job well done.

Elf, the holiday spirit, and probate law

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Elf's legs with presents

ElfLegs As Anchorman 2 opens this weekend it’s time remember another Will Ferrell movie I watch every year with the kids…Elf, the modern-day Christmas classic (the only other holiday movie I watch every year is Love Actually, but the kids only get to watch part of that!).  Bob Newhart’s in it so it’s got to be good!

Old-Fashioned Will And TestamentIn Elf, Buddy learns that he’s an elf by adoption and so he sets out to meet his biological family.  And this raises a potential legal issue – how does probate law deal with adopted children when there isn’t a will in place.  A will usually is the final word on who gets what after a death, although there are a variety of ways a will can be contested.  But all states have intestate laws, which provide standard rules on how a deceased person’s estate will be distributed if he or she died without a will in place.

One of the issues states address in dealing with intestacy is how to treat children (kids born after a will is written, step-parents, etc.).  And one question is what happens with children given up for adoption.  Can adopted children inherit from their biological and adoptive parents?  Can biological and/or adoptive parents inherit from children who are adopted (I can’t even think about what that question actually means).

ElfHatAs a general rule, once an adoption is finalized, the biological parent no longer has a legal relationship with the child.  Instead, after the final adoption decree, the adopted child is viewed by the law as if he or she had been born to the adopting parents.  So the child can inherit from the adoptive parents and the parents’ relatives (e.g., the adoptive grandparents, siblings, etc.) and vice versa.

While the general rule is therefore that adoption cuts off inheritance rights between biological parents and children who have been adopted by another family, there are exceptions to this rule.  For example, some states (from Maine to Alaska) allow inheritance rights to continue if it’s stated in the adoption decree.  Other states, big (Texas) and little (Rhode Island), say that an adoption will cut off the biological parents rights to inherit from an adopted child, but the child can still inherit from his biological parents.  The Child Welfare Information Gateway covers all of the exceptions to the general rule here.

Buddy bonded with both families in Elf and hopefully both families had proper estate planning advice.  So watch the movie this holiday season (and lobby for a Love Actually sequel – it could be awesome) and don’t worry about Buddy’s future.  Happy holidays!

 

Is Frosty the Snowman Protected by the Endangered Species Act?

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Frosty the Snowman, with his corn cob pipe, button nose and two eyes made of coal, could dance around just like you and me. Well, not me. I’m a lawyer. I do not dance.

SnowmanCould Frosty be protected by the Endangered Species Act? After all, he is made out of snow and will melt when the temperature increases.

The  Endangered Species Act was passed to protect species that are “endangered” or “threatened.”

A species is “endangered” if it is “in danger of extinction throughout all or a significant portion of its range.” 16 U.S. CODE § 1532(6).

A species is “threatened” if it is “likely to become an endangered species within the foreseeable future throughout all or a significant portion of its range.” Id. § 1532(20). Conservation Force, Inc. v. Jewell, 733 F.3d 1200, 1202 (D.C. Cir. 2013).

As a preliminary matter, the Endangered Species Act likely does not protect Frosty at all, because he is made out of snow. The law defines a “species” as “any subspecies of fish or wildlife or plants, and any distinct population segment of any species of vertebrate fish or wildlife which interbreeds when mature.” 16 U.S. CODE § 1532(16).

Frosty was made out of snow by children and came to life once an old silk hat was placed upon his head. Snow is not wildlife, plants, vertebrate fish or interbreeding wildlife. At best, Frosty is an atmospheric event that can sing and dance. Such an event would trigger the need for an old priest and a young priest or angry townsfolk with torches.

SnowHat-ESAAssuming the law did contemplate snow that had been animated with life, Frosty might be considered “endangered” because of “natural or manmade factors affecting its continued existence.” 16 USCS § 1533(a)(1)(E). Namely, it will get hot and Frosty will melt.

It is extremely unlikely the Endangered Species Act would apply to Frosty, because he is made out of snow, thus neither a plant or animal. However, if the law did protect him, there is an issue of what the Secretary of the Interior would do next. Shipping Frosty to Alaska would certainly be an option.

 

BowTieLaw Asks You to Vote Geek

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Attorney Joshua Gilliland asks for your vote in the ABA Journal Blawg 100 “For Fun” category.

Vote for  The Legal Geeks at http://www.abajournal.com/blawg100

Psychic Court on Almost Human

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The Almost Human episode “Blood Brothers” involved a fact witness who was also a psychic. The episode also had the first look inside a courtroom for a trial in 2048.

AlmostHuman_Procedure_8518A note on the trial: Extremely well done. My only concern would be the Captain fighting the Defense attorney on being able to complete her answer. A Captain would have enough experience to know to wait for re-direct to answer the question the way she wanted to (Assuming key testimony was not covered in direct for whatever odd reason). Conversely, the Defense attorney was offering a lot of her own opinion in questions on the type of person who committed the crime, which would call for speculation. Other than that, courtroom scenes seemed pretty on point, with only a few exceptions. My compliments to the writers and procedures.

The character of Maya Vaughn was a fact witness in a murder trial. She also had psychic and medium abilities from the “cerebellics procedure.”

Vaughn was only being offered to testifiy to what she saw in a murder, not because of her enhanced psychic abilities. As such, the DA would avoid awkward questions to establish the witness as a psychic.

How could a DA offer a psychic? There are enough real news stories of the police using psychics to raise the issue on how an attorney would get a psychic before a jury. Oddly enough, I did not find any case law examples.

The most likely approach would be to offer the psychic as an expert witness. This could get strange quickly, as the lawyer would ask questions to demonstrate the witness’ skills to tell the future or speak to the dead. It also would either really impress the jury or make the lawyer look like a clown.

God knows how brutal the opposing attorney would be in their questions.

As to the issue of Maya Vaughn and the “cerebellics procedure,” that might be enough to withstand being established as an expert. How was the procedure done? Could the abilities be actually tested? Let’s review California Evidence Code section 801, which covers experts:

If a witness is testifying as an expert, his testimony in the form of an opinion is limited to such an opinion as is:

 (a) Related to a subject that is sufficiently beyond common experience that the opinion of an expert would assist the trier of fact; and

 (b) Based on matter (including his special knowledge, skill, experience, training, and education) perceived by or personally known to the witness or made known to him at or before the hearing, whether or not admissible, that is of a type that reasonably may be relied upon by an expert in forming an opinion upon the subject to which his testimony relates, unless an expert is precluded by law from using such matter as a basis for his opinion.

On the face of the code section, an expert opinion cannot be twisted into a dead person testifying from a “psychic medium,” because such testimony is not actually an opinion, but “hearsay” from a dead person. Given the issues with cross-examination or whether the dead can make a statement, a Court would likely bar such testimony.

AlmostHuman_Hearsay

Let’s review additional case law where psychics are involved or mentioned:

Getting a Judge to Say Quackery

That the state court may have decided the witness qualified as an expert does not end the matter, as there is room for habeas relief when the expert testimony is mere quackery. If a phrenologist is allowed to give expert testimony as to a defendant’s mental state during the commission of a crime, or if a psychic medium is deemed qualified to give expert testimony about a seance in which the deceased described what the defendant had done to him, fundamental fairness might require a new trial. Petitioner would have this court believe that Safarik’s testimony falls somewhere between the opinions of psychic mediums and phrenologists on the continuum of quackery. The court disagrees, although it does recognize the controversial nature of crime analysis as courtroom evidence.

Duvardo v. Giurbino, 649 F. Supp. 2d 980, 996 (N.D. Cal. 2009).

Dodging a Mistrial with a Psychic Juror

A Court of Appeal held a trial Court properly denied a motion for a mistrial. This was one of the few times where a judge was driven to call a juror “ridiculous” and swear. The court opinion is classic:

During voir dire of prospective alternate jurors, a prospective alternate juror stated that she had a problem serving as a juror on this case because she was “intuitive,” “being able to key into people’s psyche to know what’s going on,” and she felt that she already knew the “situation.” The trial court stated, “With all due respect to you, that’s ridiculous. . . . [Y]ou are telling me now that you know what happened in this case?” The prospective juror said, “No.” The trial court continued, “You haven’t heard one word, one witness. And just because you — here’s a man sitting here and you know what some charges are against him, you know all about it now?” The prospective juror said, “No, I didn’t say I know about the case. I just said –” When the trial court asked what she knew about it, the prospective juror asked the trial court if it wanted to hear her “instinct about it all,” because she did not want to prejudice the jury.

The trial court stated, “I don’t want to prejudice the jury either. [P] You say you have got some preconceived notions about the case already?” The prospective juror stated, “Yes, I do. I feel like he is guilty.” She explained that she had been sitting there “tuning into the whole situation” and “thinking about this for quite a while,” and she felt that appellant was guilty. She stated that she got paid for doing “this type of work” professionally and that she was being honest with the trial court. When the trial court excused her, she stated, “I know it’s — it sounds strange. It’s just a gift.”

The trial court stated, “We all know it’s ridiculous. [P] Anybody influenced by the fact that this lady just got up here and said in her opinion that this –” The jurors collectively responded in the negative. When one prospective juror raised his hand, the trial court stated, “Mr. [Juror No. 5708], you know you are sort of acting out of line here, you know. You took an  oath . . . earlier today to tell the truth, answer all the questions truthfully, all that. And you are doing your damndest to get out of this jury, aren’t you?” The prospective juror stated, “Yes.” The trial court admonished him that he had just been sworn as a juror and he would not be excused, further stating, “[A]nd I expect that you will fulfill your oath. Because you took an oath and that oath has consequences. And I expect that you will do that. [P] You understand what I am telling you?” The juror responded, “Hum.”

The trial court again asked, “Anybody influenced by the fact that the lady now comes in with her powers and just walked into the courtroom, has got some kind of powers, and she said he’s guilty, that, and in her mind that he is guilty? Anybody influenced by that?” The jurors collectively responded in the negative.

People v. Smith, 2008 Cal. App. Unpub. LEXIS 681, 16-22 (Cal. App. 2d Dist. Jan. 28, 2008).

The Court of Appeal held the denial of the motion for a mistrial was proper. Even though the trial judge did not admonish the jury on the excused juror’s comments, the judge had said the comments were “ridiculous.” Moreover, the other jurors all were “open-mouthed and most were laughing at the prospective juror’s statements.” No juror said they would have been influenced by the excused juror’s comments. Id.

I Demand You Call a Psychic

A defendant challenged the State’s evidence it was “substantially probable” he would commit a sex offense, because the state did not offer a psychic. You do not need to be a psychic to guess how that argument turned out.

Defendant attacks the sufficiency of the State’s evidence in that the State did not prove that it was substantially probable that he would engage in the commission of sex offenses in the future. Defendant appears to argue that the State could not have proved “substantial probability” because the trial court did not appoint a “psychic” as an expert witness to predict defendant’s future behavior. The absurdity of this argument is clear on its face. Nevertheless, we conclude the State proved “substantial probability.”

People v. Henderson, 2013 IL App (4th) 120624-U, P18 (Ill. App. Ct. 4th Dist. 2013).

Suing for Loss of Psychic Powers

A Plaintiff sued a doctor and hospital for medical malpractice over the claimed loss of the Plaintiff’s psychic powers for a CT scan. The jury awarded the Plaintiff $600,000 in 1986 for these purported injuries (roughly $1,278,536.50 adjusted for inflation). Haimes v. Temple University Hospital, 1986 Pa. Dist. & Cnty. Dec. LEXIS 375 (Pa. C.P. 1986). The Court of Appeals ordered a new trial, on the theories the jury gave an excessive verdict, the jury had a misconception of the law and that the jury considered the loss of psychic powers as evidence, which had been dismissed as a non-suit before the trial. Id.